


Chosen Family

by incorrectpsb



Category: Prep School Blues (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, enjoy the fruits of my gay angst, tw; homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:53:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incorrectpsb/pseuds/incorrectpsb
Summary: Larsen's father is dying, and he goes to visit him hoping to make amends. Things don't go as planned.(seriously this is just really sad why did I put this up I'm known for fluff wtf don't read unless you wanna be sad. I didn't proofread lmao what else is new)





	Chosen Family

Jonas Larsen was dying, and his youngest son wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He wasn’t so sure he felt anything at all on the matter.

Larsen concentrated on everything and anything he could. He heard inane chatter between two doctors nearby, observed the blank walls surrounding him with only a nearby vase of lilies on a shelf providing some colour, and felt the claustrophobic and sterile environment of the eerily quiet hospital surrounding him. Yet through everything his senses clung to, he didn’t feel anything about his father passing away. It was terrifying.

To say that Larsen had a bad relationship with his father would imply that they had one at all. Jonas had never been the fatherly sort, having always preferred the company of alcohol to his family. Larsen had more memories of being around drunk Jonas than sober Jonas. He’d moved out of his childhood home after graduating Prospere Academy and had come out to his parents not long after. He had never been sure of their reaction because he hadn’t told them in person. Jonas was his father in name only, and his mother had been far too ill to raise him properly, so as far as he was concerned moving out, leaving a note explaining everything and immediately changing his number was a perfectly reasonable way of letting them know he was in a happy relationship with a man. 

Jack had damn near lost his mind when Larsen revealed how he’d told his family.

“They’ll be so mad at you!” Jack had squealed. Larsen couldn’t help but laugh. Jack had always been worried what his grandmother would think. When he’d come out, she’d taken it better than he would have thought. Elena cared so deeply for her grandson, and that was why Jack had been afraid of telling her. He thought he would lose that. Larsen’s parents didn’t care enough to be mad at him. 

Almost twenty years had passed since then. Larsen had had little contact with his family, and he hadn’t missed them at all. He knew that was awful of him, but he didn’t. He had his chosen family and that was all he needed. He was done being guilted into having relationships with people who didn’t want him just because they shared DNA.

Larsen stared at the room opposite him from a bench in the corridor. Room 17. Jonas was in there. He was being “made comfortable” at that very moment. Larsen was his first visitor. Jonas had been here three days, and of all his relatives, Larsen lived the furthest away.

Jack returned and sat down next to Larsen. He tentatively held a paper cup out to him.

“Hospital coffee?” he said in a small voice. Larsen turned to look at him. Jack looked so nervous, like he was afraid of upsetting him. Larsen couldn’t see how that was possible. He smiled at Jack and took the coffee before returning to blankly staring at room 17.

Jack sighed, thinking of his own father. “You don’t want to hear this, but I know how you feel.”

Larsen grimaced and took Jack’s hand, leaning against him. “That’s the thing. I don’t feel anything.” He knew Jack wouldn’t judge him for that. 

Jack wrapped his arms around Larsen, holding him tightly. He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he could say right now. Larsen’s father was going to die. Those words should have carried so much weight, but they didn’t. Larsen didn’t even know what he was doing here. All Jack could do was be there for him.

A nurse exited room 17. Her expression was grim. Larsen slowly untangled himself from Jack’s embrace and stood up. He suddenly felt freezing cold. His breath quickened.

“He’s very weak,” said the nurse solemnly. “I don’t know if he’ll be able to talk to you.”

Larsen gave a small nod. He looked back at Jack briefly before heading inside. He wanted Jack with him, but this was something he had to do alone.

The sight was almost comical. Jonas Larsen, big old terrifying drunk who had been one of the few things Larsen and Steven were afraid of, weak and harmless on a hospital bed. Larsen had always thought his mother would go before Jonas did. There were a lot of unpredictable things about this situation. From all the anti-alcoholism talks at school, Larsen thought severe liver damage would be what took his father out. It turned out it was a heart attack that would do the deed.

Jonas’ eyes were closed, his breathing ragged and terrifying. It didn’t sound human. Larsen felt pity for his father. He’d never pitied him for his addiction to alcohol, he’d been too angry at him for that. This was the first and only time Larsen would ever pity Jonas. Larsen took a seat by the bed.

Jonas’ eyes fluttered open. Even now, Larsen felt a flicker of fear as his father gave him that look. Utter contempt.

“You.”

Larsen raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Me.”

Jonas turned his head to look at the ceiling. “You got some nerve.”

Larsen smirked. “You should meet my husband.”

Jonas’ fists clenched at those words, and he groaned at the effort. Larsen had to hold back a laugh. All that physical exertion for a meagre expression of homophobia.

As much as he would have loved to watch his father squirm some more – it admittedly felt good to be the more powerful one for once – Larsen figured he should try and make nice. It was his last chance, after all.

“I’m sorry,” said Larsen. He wasn’t sure what for. He just thought he should say it. He’d let his father decide what it meant.

His father let out a small, bitter laugh, and then choked on it for a few seconds. 

“Bastard heart finally gave up on me,” said Jonas. “Figures. Everyone else did.”

This attempt at a guilt trip would not work on Larsen.

“You had mom and Steven.”

His father scoffed again. “Your mother left me about a year after you did.”

Larsen inhaled sharply. 

“Yeah,” said Jonas. Talking this much was exhausting, but he had little else to do. He didn’t want to go gentle into that good night. 

“That pastor from her religious phase,” said Jonas. “Turns out they were still in contact. Guess he was a bit nicer to her.”

Larsen swallowed. “And Steven?”

Jonas rolled his eyes. “He wasn’t exactly jumping to spend time with me after that. I drank a lot more after you and your mother left. I’m not much of a teddy bear that way.”

Every minute, every second, things just seemed to get worse for Larsen’s father. Yet Larsen still felt nothing but pity for his father’s sorry state. He wasn’t sorry that his father was dying. He was sorry that he was weak, powerless to hurt anyone. It must have been so difficult for him, not being able to terrorise people.

“I’ll be in town for a few days,” said Larsen. “I can keep you company. If you want.”

Jonas looked at Larsen again. “I don’t want.”

Larsen’s voice trembled, suppressing rage. “You’re dying.”

Jonas damn near bared his teeth. “Exactly.”

Larsen stared at his father in disbelief.

“I look at you and see your whore of a mother,” Jonas continued, sitting up despite the obvious discomfort it was causing him. “Getting high in my home with your son of a bitch brother. I bet you fucked that boyfriend of yours under my roof too.”

Larsen flinched slightly. He’d never heard his father talk about Jack before. He knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but it still came as a shock.

“Husband,” Larsen sneered. He sarcastically added, “Your wedding invite must have got lost in the mail.”

Jonas had that look in his eyes that told Larsen he was about to lose his temper and hit him. 

Larsen laughed. “Good luck with that, you bastard, you can hardly hold yourself up.”

“You don’t want to be here,” Jonas growled. “Why did you come?”

Larsen swallowed and stood up. “I’ll talk to Steven, make funeral arrangements. I imagine it will be a small ceremony.”

Larsen walked away, but Jonas wasn’t done. He was still spewing profanities as Larsen left the room.

As Larsen shut the door behind him, he could suddenly feel again. All the absent emotions he thought he would have about his father’s passing suddenly hit him squarely in the chest. His father was dying, and he didn’t have a relationship with him. His father hated him, and he hated his father. Larsen loved Jack and his friends, but he’d never know what it was like to have a real family. There was so much hate between his parents, between Larsen and Jonas, between Steven and Jonas, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He didn’t understand why it had to be this way for him.

Jack snapped out of a daydream when Larsen emerged. He immediately stood up, ready to ask him how it went. But then he saw the look on Larsen’s face. He knew it well. He’d seen it when Larsen sat on Jack’s bed, terrified for Fareed. Larsen had looked at him like that outside prom, when he’d told him everything. He looked scared. He looked like the lost teenage boy from Prospere Academy, who could pretend to everyone but Jack that he was okay.

Jack’s words died away and he went to Larsen, holding him tight. Larsen sank into his arms and cried softly.

“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered.

“I’m not,” Larsen said instinctively, pulling away and drying his eyes.

Jack drove home, and they were both silent the whole way from the hospital. They didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. It was a terrible situation, and Larsen had tried to make it better. It hadn’t worked. Jack could only hope that one day, no one would have to go through what Larsen was. And until then, he would be there for Larsen. He would be the family he deserved.


End file.
